WINTER DREAMS: June 2007

I f You Love Someone

Posted on Thursday, June 28, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

I f You Love Someone

THE ORIGINAL QUOTE

If you love someone,Set her free...If she comes back, she's yours,If she doesn't, she never was....

THE NEW VERSIONS .....

Pessimist:If you love someone,Set her free ...If she ever comes back, she's yours,If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:If you love someone,Set her free ...Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:If you love someone,Set her free ...If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:If you love someone,Set her free ...If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.

Patient:If you love someone, Set her free ..If she doesn't come back,continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful:If you love someone,Set her free ...If she comes back, and if you love her still,set her free again, repeat ...

C++ Programmer:if(you-love(m_she))m_she.free()if(m_she == NULL)m_she = new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:If you love someone,Set her free,In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:If you love someone,Set her free,Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the SecondAmendment of the Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist :If you love someone,Set her free,She'll evolve.Statisticians :If you love someone,Set her free,If she loves you, the probability of her comingback is highIf she doesn't, your relation was improbableanyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:If you love someone,Set her free,SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person :If you love someonedon't set her free.

MBA :If you love someone set her free instantaneouslyand look for others simultaneouslyPsychologist :If you love someoneset her freeIf she comes back her super ego is dominantIf she doesn't come back her id is supremeIf she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnabulist :If you love someoneset her freeIf she comes back it's a nightmareIf she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

ERP functional expert :If you love someoneset her freeIf she comes back, map her into your systemIf she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance expert :If you love someoneset her freeIf she comes back, its time to look for fresh loansIf she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Specialist :If you love someoneset her freeIf she comes back she has brand loyaltyIf she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market

American President:If you love someoneSet her freeIf she comes back she must be carrying weapons of mass destruction, so attack IraqIf she doesn't, it’s the work of Osama so attack Afghanistan

Save This Page

Intresting Facts

Posted on Thursday, June 28, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

Here are some interesting, but true facts, that you may or may not have known.

The Statue of Liberty's index finger is eight feet long
Rain has never been recorded in some parts of the Atacama Desert in Chile
A 75 year old person will have slept about 23 years.
A Boeing 747's wing span is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.(the Wright brother's invented the airplane)
There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans.
One type of hummingbird weighs less than a penny
The word " set " has the most number of definitions in the English language;192
Slugs have four noses
Sharks can live up to 100 years
Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color.
Kangaroos can't walk backwards
About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in in the U.S. Everyday
The largest recorded snowflake was 15in wide and 8in thick. It fell in Montana in 1887
The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that the sound it makes is actually a tiny sonic boom.
Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year presidency
Koalas and humans are the only animals that have finger prints
There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human
It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery had in it to begin with.
The world's largest Montessori school is in India, with 26,312 students in 2002
Octopus have three hearts
If you ate too many carrots, you'd turn orange
The average person spends two weeks waiting for a traffic light to change.
1 in 2,000,000,000 people will live to be 116 or old
The body has 2-3 million sweat glands
Sperm whales have the biggest brains; 20 lbs
Tiger shark embroyos fight each other in their mother's womb. The survivor is born.
Most cats are left pawed
250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa
A Blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant
You use 14 muscles to smile and 43 to frown. Keep Smiling!
Bamboo can grow up to 3 ft in 24 hours
An eyeball weighs about 1 ounce
Bone is five times stronger than steel.

Save This Page

Heart attacks and drinking warm water

Posted on Monday, June 25, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about heart attacks . The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt thei r drinking habit while eating. For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this "sludge" reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line.You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive. A cardiologist says if everyone who reads this message sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life. Read this & Send to a friend. It could save a life. So, please be a true friend and send this article to all your friends you care about.

Save This Page

Relationships

Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

_____________________________________________________________________________
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.

She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack,

beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said.

"Just get out."
______________________________________________________________________________
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!

Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.

TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD!

WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!

I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!

Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?

Have you LOST your mind?Don't forget to salt them.

You know you always forget to salt them.

Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Save This Page

Spot the differences

Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

Scroll down for the answers.But try first.

Answers:

A: The 'SOUTHBOUND' sign now says 'SKATEBOARD.'

B: The blue umbrella has lost a 'T.'

C: Have you tried Ray's Pita?

C: Sure, the traffic's crazy here, but a lighthouse seems a bit much.

D: Wow, that's a big stack of pretzels.

E: The taxi has a new blue racing stripe.

Save This Page

Little Johny

Posted on Sunday, June 24, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:

"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."

"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."

"Three and three... "

His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math.

Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework.

The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo.

Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math,

and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.

The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand

why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed,

"Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."

Save This Page

What is the difference between men and women?

Posted on Saturday, June 23, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHS

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Save This Page

What is the Moral ?

Posted on Saturday, June 23, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.She said, I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight tothe front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,"We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Save This Page

Leather bound Bible

Posted on Saturday, June 23, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat Disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, " With all your money you give me a Bible? And stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11, "And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words... PAID IN FULL.How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected ? I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others. Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for... IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT , IT'S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER PACKED THAT WAY! ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD YOU TO ATTACHMENTS!

Save This Page

Good & Evil

Posted on Saturday, June 23, 2007 by CASANOVA | 0 comments

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm।

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He Practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target.

Getting A little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was Walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck Square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see His sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the Dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in The kitchen." Then she whispered to him, " Remember the duck?" So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go Fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make Supper."

Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told Me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck? " So Sally Went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, He finally couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long You would let Sally make a slave of you. "

Save This Page

WINTER DREAMS

I f You Love Someone

Intresting Facts

Heart attacks and drinking warm water

Relationships

Spot the differences

Little Johny

What is the difference between men and women?

What is the Moral ?

Leather bound Bible

Good & Evil

Followers

Blog Archive

Labels

Blogroll

About

Today

Blogger news